The Choice to Have When you Can't Have it All

Although this may not specifically be about running a business, I think it is important to remember when making choices in your life to make your business fit into the life you want to lead.

We are all told when we are kids that we can have it all if we set our minds to it and work really hard.  So we pursue our education, careers, get married, have kids and so on because that is what you are supposed to do.  For me, after I had children, nobody talked about the constant emotional struggle of having my career and having my children.  The guilt in leaving my kids at daycare with my Mom, who sacrificed her early retirement to help us, was enormous at the best of times.  Even with a very supportive husband, the constant stress of getting kids dressed and out the door, stress of tunnel traffic, stress of work, stress of getting home at dinner time, stress of trying to help with homework, and so on, was exhausting. Needless to say, I was one stress away from a stroke/heart attack/cancer/ [insert grave illness here] and knew it was time to make a change.

Recently I read a blog post by Tim Ferriss, about his decision to take a vacation from investing in startups. In this post, he referred to a blog post by Derek Sivers and his "hell yeah ! or no" essay.  This resonated with me as I think we all need to stop and ask the question - is this what I REALLY want to do?  I know we all have financial obligations, but if we operate in a place of "hell yeah", there is a better chance we will make the choice that aligns with what WE determine to be SUCCESS, not what somebody else determines as success.

So choices need to be made.  Choices that determine the importance of what you want to HAVE because to HAVE it ALL is a myth.  For me, a few "hell yeah"s that I have put in place in my life:

• Dropping off and picking up kids from school
• Starting a business so I can work from home the majority of the time
• Putting my phone away when meeting with friends or family to have distraction free conversation
• Meeting with a group of girlfriends every first Thursday of the month
• Living for today.  Not tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, next summer.  No more NEXT's!!

Maybe you have some decisions to make; some may be easy, and some may be more difficult.  What is most important is that YOU make the choice to what it is that you want to HAVE, not anybody else.